Oh, Universe. The way you work makes me grin.

It's funny how things work out (or don't work out, rather. However you choose to look at the situation).

For instance, tonight I went to the movies with a friend in the mood to see either HOP (which looks kind of precious) or JUST GO WITH IT, a rom-com with Adam Sandler and Jen Aniston. Those were our options.

We get there, and my friend mentions that there's also that whats-its-name movie with Matt Damon. It's 9:33 and it started at 9:30. Meh. Why not? I'm always up for some Matt Damon.

So we buy our tickets for this random movie we had no interest in seeing twenty minutes prior when we had looked at movie times.

The movie plays. The ending rolls. I don't wanna spoil it for anyone--so I suppose if you are really, really interested in seeing ADJUSTMENT BUREAU stop reading here...or skip ahead a few paragraphs.

Basically, one of the characters does a voice over and expresses how sometimes we have to follow a path that isn't what we feel meant to do. Sometimes we have to go against what everyone thinks our "plan" is and create our own plan. Go out and make the Creator or the Universe or whatever higher power you might believe in--and make Him or That or Her re-create your plan. Force the Higher Power to change It's mind; live your life for YOU and for no one else.

Literally, my friend and I just looked at each other and laughed.

Then, just now, I'm listening to Pandora while trying to find something to write about. Out of NOWHERE on my Jonas Brothers playlist (yes, I have one of those and listen to it frequently; judge me all you want) comes a LINKIN PARK song. I'm sorry--Linkin Park? Jonas Brothers? And they're related how?

In between Burnin' Up and LA Baby comes a song with such lyrics like:

I'm tired of being what you want me to be and Can't you see that you're smothering me? / Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control.

It was just something I really needed to hear tonight.

I saw a movie I had no interest in seeing, and I listened to a song (and then Google-ed the lyrics) that I've heard a thousand times but never really listened to.

I don't know that California has always been in "the plan" for me. I'm the black sheep of the family for doing this. Sometimes that makes it really hard (or it makes it really hard always...)

Dear Universe,

Sometimes I'm gonna get a little off track. I just wanna say thanks for throwing up subtle (yet not so subtle) hints like tonight to put me back where I need to be.

xoxo

- SM.

On my way.

I don't always know where I'm going but I like to think inevitably I know where I want to be. I think ultimately I'm scared. I'm scared because I know that "the journey" or the "getting there", if you will, is what life's all about. It's not where you're going, it's getting there. That scares me because I kind of tend to feel like I'm rushing that--I'm rushing through the journey (or in some cases avoiding it [read: love life]).

California brings out the best in me, as far as I can tell.

Here are some things that I know of myself:

1. I'm a writer and I'm decent when it comes to using my words.

2. I love fairytales and magic and surprises. Mostly surprising others.

3. I love to be alone but I hate the idea of being lonely.

4. I love the fast-paced lifestyle of everything entertainment.

Basically, I'm still learning about myself but I know thinking about California makes me happy and being in California makes me happy...so why not go to California?

The absolute worst thing that could happen: I spend all of my money and have to move back home.

Bummer?

I'm fully prepared to have to come home. However, I'm incredibly determined to stay.

See you in two months, LA-LA Land.