Many times in my life, I've been told I couldn't do something. Not necessarily because someone wanted to discourage me; mostly they wanted to save me the trouble of the hurt or the consequences of failure.
So, generally, when I was told I couldn't do something--I typically didn't do it. Instead, I'd make up excuses as to why I had changed my mind. I never truly fought for anything that I wanted, which was one hundred percent my fault. I never gave myself the chance to do something.
Not until I moved to California.
I've never been told I couldn't do something more times in my entire life. Friends of family, friends of myself, people I grew up going to church with--everyone had something to say about how bad of a decision moving to California would be. I definitely understand why.
I had a job I had maintained all throughout college; one in which they were willing to offer me a management position where I would most likely work for the rest of my life. I was living in Orlando, a booming but affordable city in the middle of Florida. I had friends, family--the university I had graduated from. A world of comfort and familiarity was set before me.
But I chose to blindly take a flying leap.
Besides the hope I had in my heart, I had nothing. I hoped every single day that I would land on my feet. I've definitely had my rough patches, but I'd like to say I landed pretty steadily. Maybe I wobbled a little bit here and there, but mostly I landed and I started moving.
I've gotten comfortable again. I know what to expect when I come to work. I know what's expected of me. And now the time has come for this amazing company I work for to offer me a promotion.
Even though it might not sound as scary (or maybe scary at all), it's terrifying. It's a huge leap in a direction I never saw myself taking. But just because I didn't see it before doesn't mean it's not going to be great. Or maybe it won't be great, that's always a possibility too.
For the last two weeks I've been stressing out over how this was never part of my plan. I wasn't supposed to start a career in finance (though I've never really known what career path I really want to take). I'm not nearly as qualified for this position as someone they would hire off the street would be, but they've assured me they know I will learn and grow and evolve to fit the position--and they're willing to give me time to do that.
Two years ago, I would have said no, but thank you for the opportunity.
Today I am reminded of the scared girl who was always so used to saying no, but thank you when the world advised her she couldn't. Today, I'm politely telling her to hold on; because today I know I'm capable of saying yes.
Fight for what you want; fight for who you are. It might just be worth it in the end.
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