I've been very back and forth lately with where I want to go in life, what I want to do and how I want to change the world--how I want to leave my mark.
For the last year, it's been LA, LA, LA. I fell in love with the state of California after just three days there; then, jumped a plane not even a month later and did it all over again.
But now--here I am--being faced with yet another opportunity. Only this one would take me to New York City. It's not my plan; it hasn't been a part of my plan.
I have so many questions for myself that I can't even answer.
The opportunity in NYC is easier, so is that why I'm interested in it?
NYC is on the same coast as my family; it'd be easier for them to see me and for me to see them. Is that why I want it?
But then I start to question my questions (talk about complicated). Does it matter why I'm considering NYC instead of LA? Does it really have to be instead? Can it be both? If one doesn't work out, I could always try the other, right?
My mom always seems to be my venting buddy. She doesn't complain and she typically has good advice. Therefore I instantly called her as soon as this opportunity that was new arose.
She told me a story that my dad had once told her, and I think it's worth sharing.
When my dad was 17, he got his license to fly planes. One of his trips in the air with his instructor, he got caught in a current. The current knocked him off his flying path and he started fretting, worrying what would happen if he couldn't get back on track. His instructor calmly told him not to worry, to just keep control of the plane. My dad tried to stay focused, but couldn't help but worry about the path of the plane. It wasn't the path he was supposed to be on. His instructor informed him to relax. He told him to let the wind carry the plane--it didn't matter if the plane was completely on track or not. The new path wasn't necessarily a bad one.
I can't even begin to express how crazy this analogy fits almost every aspect of life.
It's too perfect to even make up.
That analogy is the only thing keeping me sane in this moment. Because for now, I won't stress out that New York wasn't exactly on my agenda as of yesterday. As of today, it's something new and something worth thinking about. So for now? I'll just sit back and let the current take me to wherever it thinks I should go.
After all, what's the worst that could happen?
Dream big, friends. It might just be worth it in the end.
xo
-SM.
