I wrote this on the plane journey back to Los Angeles this weekend but never made it to posting it...
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I'm blogging from a plane right now, believe it or not. My clock says it's 8:47 but my body is still confused straddling that evil three hour time difference that lies between Los Angeles and Tampa.
I went home for the weekend.
Home being Florida.
It's tricky for me. When people ask me where I'm going when I make this trip to Florida, I always say, "Oh, I'm going home." But I also tend to refer to Huntersville, North Carolina as "home", too. And even when I'm in one of these places and people ask me when I'm going back to LA, I tend to say, "I'm heading home in a few days."
My brain is so confused!
What is home? Where is home? Which place feels like home??!
I finally decided to start asking myself a different question.
Who says we can't have more than one home?
I love each place for different reasons. This trip back to Florida was especially tough, mostly because my reality in Los Angeles has changed greatly since the last time I was back east. I found myself silently wondering every other minute if maybe I should move back--maybe I should go "home".
In Florida I have my family--my "rocks". These are the people who I can call wherever and whenever I need them. They're the ones I come back for--the people who support me and love me unconditionally. They are the ones I know I will forever have--they are the ones who define my future.
In North Carolina I have everything I grew up with. It's familiar, it feels free and reminds me what it was like to be a kid. I have the memories and the people I grew up around, the places that taught me about adventure and happiness. This home will always be a part of who I am--this is my past.
Then I have California. I've been asking myself a lot lately what in the world I was thinking moving here. People usually look at me with crazy eyes when I tell them my story. But somehow, I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do and I won't back down from that. I have friends, I have a stable job, I have learned my way around. I am motivated by the events and people I see around me, I am moved by the stories of hope and success. This? Right now, this is my present.
Each place takes me to a different part of myself.
North Carolina will always remind me where I came from and who I wanted to be. Florida will always take me to the people who ground me the most. California, for now, will be the place that inspires me to learn and to grow.
Each place brings such a different dynamic to my life and it's too huge to pass up.
So from now on, when people ask me where I'm going or where I'm coming from--I'm not going to hesitate to say "home".
It's very easy to get so worked up on finding the right answer, we completely miss the fact that we're asking the wrong questions.
