Dear Los Angeles,
I've watched the cursor blink for five minutes trying to figure out where to even begin. What words do I choose to begin to explain the last three years of my life?
Flashback to three years ago--I was a wide-eyed, naive girl from the east coast with so much hope, passion and joy for something I didn't even understand. I had dreams and ideas of what this city was made of; I took a flying leap into this world I had never been immersed in, but I knew my heart wanted so badly to know how it would feel.
And I loved it.
I loved every moment of it.
I will never be able to express how thankful I am for my first initial job here. I started as a guest service agent at a boutique hotel in the middle of Beverly Hills. Every job has it's fair share of stress and frustration, but this job that paid a salary I'm still not sure how I survived on brought me to life. I worked with a handful of people who became my closest friends; people who introduced me to what it meant to live in Los Angeles. I met my best friend, who encouraged me to put all of my energy into being myself and living my life freely. And so that's what I did.
I lived, I loved and I experienced absolutely everything I had always wondered about. I let people in, I made connections with people I never thought I would have. I stopped being so afraid of things I didn't understand and I embraced this epic life that I had always imagined. I took walls down that I had put up for reasons unknown to me so long ago. I broke that barrier.
And then I pushed myself. I pushed myself to find another path that would lead me to more career experience. I learned what I liked and didn't like, I made connections with friends and people that I never would have imagined. One road took me to another and somehow I found myself in the middle of Hollywood working with people I had only ever dreamt of working with.
When I moved to Los Angeles, I hoped and prayed I would belong. I wanted to find a place where I fit in; where I felt like I was contributing to something bigger than myself. Living in Florida, I had great friends and a wonderful support system with my family but something was missing and, until I moved to California, I never really understood what. It's hard to put into words what I've found, but I can assure you that I've found it.
I've realized I am strong. I've realized that I can pick myself up and move to a place where the only thing I have on my side is hope and faith. And I've realized that it works. The last three years have been some of the best years of my life. Being in California has opened my eyes not only to this life that I had always wondered about, but also to the person I am and the person I have always been. California didn't change me; California gave me the opportunity to really get to know myself and understand who I am, what I like and what I want to do.
I don't think I could have ever realized when moving here that I would become so insightful and learn so much about myself. Growing up, we're directed and motivated by our parents. We follow a blue print that has been given to us. This is not a bad thing, but we come to a point where we have to make our own decisions--and California was mine. I am so thankful to my family for supporting the last three years of my choices and the life that I have lived. I am so thankful to the people I have met in this city who have helped me learn and make decisions that have brought me to who I am today.
Leaving Los Angeles has been one of the hardest things I think I have ever decided to do. My love for this city is undeniable. My love for the friends and people who have helped me and guided me while I've been here is, also, undeniable. I will never forget any of the moments or experiences that I have had while being here.
I've always struggled with the word "home". Leaving Florida is difficult, because to me--that is "home". Coming to Los Angeles is heart-warming, because to me--this is "home". For the last three years, I am grateful to say I have had two homes. And I remind myself in these difficult moments that I will still have two homes.
This is not goodbye, Los Angeles. This is an "I'll see you later". Just as I left a piece of my heart in Florida, I'm leaving a piece here, as well. I can't wait to see you again.
Thank you for everything.
